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CHAPTER 4

Zelph plans guerilla tactics to take out Nephite front lines. Doesn't trust the regular lazy Lamanites, and uses an angry mob of Anti-Nephite Lamanites. Zelph's plan succeeds. The Lamanite army overruns the Nephites at Desolation with huge numbers, push them all the way back to Jordan. Zelph torches the captured Nephite cities as revenge for his torched casino. Zelph hailed as a war hero by the Lamanite army because of his superior war tactics. The raping and pillaging of captured Nephite lands takes many years, Melph joins his father in battle.  [Between 375-380 A.D.]

1. And it came to pass that I Zelph shall commence writing an account of my military successes, for inasmuch as the Nephites torched my casino, yea, they did draw first blood. Nevertheless, behold, vengeance shall be mine, and many Nephites shall pay with their lives for the crime done unto me and mine family.

2. And I shall lock these records away, yea, even shall I lock up the magic decoder rock, even in a secret lock box within my teepee. And I giveth the key unto Onandagus, and spake unto him: Behold, Onandagus, keepeth my father's records safe, even must ye hide this key. For these records are the record of our people, and if I shall fall in battle, yea, the records and decoder rock must be preserved and passed onto my son, Melph, when he turns eighteen.

3. And Onandagus promised to guard the plates, and keepeth them safe. And I spake unto Melph, who was fourteen years, and tellest him that if I die in battle, he shall inherit the plates, even the records of the people, and he must preserve them. And I shall keep the leather plates, which are the account of my life, and an abridgement of the plates, in my pocket so as I can add things to my account while on the battlefield.

4. And I led Tiger Lilly to my teepee, and did fornicate her one last time before I go into battle. And after the manner of fornicating my wife, yea, I did stay up late thinking of my strategy, and I did devise an exceedingly goodly strategy.

5. And it came to pass that I gathered up my weapons, and did travel to the battlefield, but before I do join the others in battle, yea, I must gather my men, for I desire not to use normal Lamanite soldiers who are lazy and smoke much peace pipes, yea, for I desired to gather Lamanites with much passion, yea, even Lamanites who shall giveth me great advantage in my assault.

6. And I traveled to the mob of Anti-Nephite Lamanites, and I spake unto them my strategy, and influenced them to join me, for we shall kill many Nephites.

7. And the leader of the Anti-Nephite Lamanites was named Kicking Deer, and he was a tall and strong Lamanite. And Kicking Deer did approve of my strategy, and did thinketh it a good strategy, for he delighted at the thought of Nephite blood on his hands, and he spake unto the other Anti-Nephite Lamanites, who did number sixty and three men, and bade them to join with him in following me into battle.

8. And all did gather their weapons, yea, even their swords, and clubs, and bows and arrows, and tomahawks, and did follow me to the battlefield.

9. And I did arrive at the Lamanite camp, at the head of the narrow neck of land, and did report to Howling Coyote, and spake that I did havest my men, and shall commence the first assault on his orders.

10. And it came to pass that I spake unto Howling Coyote: Behold, we shall win this war not through normal war tactics, for that doth always fail us, wherefore, we must use guerilla tactics. And I shall assault with my guerilla army, and after I do penetrate the Nephite defenses, yea, thou must send in thy army of thousands to take the city.

11. And Howling Coyote looked upon my army of sixty and three men, and he did laugh, then did he say: Behold, Zelph, thou shalt attack with this little army? I do bid ye farewell, for it was nice knowing thee, for ye will surely die, yea, even do I know this with every fiber of my being.

12. And I spake back at Howling Coyote: Worry not about me, and havest thy army ready to attack after I succeed in my assault.

13. And Howling Coyote agreed, and gave unto me the green light to commence my assault.

14. And I led the Anti-Nephite Lamanite mob, even the sixty and three men, and we did approach the Nephite-Lamanite border, and I beheld a small army of Nephites who did patrol an outpost near the border.

15. And we did await nightfall, and then we did sneakily cross the border, into the Nephite lands and did approach the small army of Nephites, and all did sleep save it be one who did stand watch.

16. And Kicking Deer, who was exceedingly skilled with a bow and arrow, did shoot an arrow, even from a distance, at the Nephite who did stand watch, and the arrow did slay the Nephite.

17. And after the manner in which Kicking Deer did kill the Nephite who did stand watch, yea, we did come upon the sleeping Nephites and did slay them while they slept, and the Anti-Nephite Lamanites delighted in the slaying of the Nephites, even did they delight in the bloodshed, for they hated the Nephites. And after the manner in which we slayed the Nephite army, yea, we did remove their clothes and armor, and did place them on our bodies so as to disguise ourselves as Nephites.

18. And after the manner in which we did slay the army af Nephites, and did steal their clothes, yea, we did throw their bodies into the sea, and did journey toward the Nephite city Desolation, even disguised as Nephites.

19. And we came upon the first watch tower near Desolation, and Kicking Deer did slay the Nephite in the tower with his arrow. Then did I send one of my men to the tower, disguised as a Nephite, so as no other Nephites shall be suspicious. And we did remove the dead Nephite from the tower and cast him into the sea.

20. And we did sneakily slay all Nephites in the watch towers, and did replace them with Anti-Nephite Lamanites who did disguise themselves as Nephites. And because they be high up in the towers, yea, none shall know they havest dark skin, for they shall see their Nephite uniforms and think them to be Nephite watch men, and shall be suspicious not.

21. And after the manner in which I did replace the Nephite watch men with Anti-Nephite Lamanites, yea, I did travel to the city Desolation, even disguised as a Nephite. And because I havest white skin, and wear Nephite clothes, yea, none shall suspect me to be the enemy.

22. And I walked within the city, and none suspected me to be the enemy, and I did gather up many weapons, yea, even swords and clubs, and spears, and arrows, that the Nephite soldiers did leave lying around.

23. And I did sneakily hide the weapons in bushes, and under furniture, and in the well, and I did throw some on rooftops, and this thing I did do while nobody was looking, yea, even for the space of many hours, for it was night, and most Nephites did sleep.

24. And after the manner in which I did hide many Nephite weapons, yea, I did leave the city Desolation, and did cross the Nephite-Lamanite border, and did return to the Lamanite army camp. Nevertheless, Howling Coyote had not the men ready for battle, for he did ignore my request. And I did find him sleeping in his teepee.

25. And because Howling Coyote doth sleep instead of lead, yea, I did gather all the Lamanite warriors before me, and bore my testimony unto them that the Nephites hath been weakened, and I spake unto the men: Behold, mighty Lamanite warriors, me and my men did weaken the Nephite army. Wherefore, we must attack them now, even with much force while they remain weak. Wherefore, attack!

26. And I led the Lamanite army into the Nephite lands. And because there be no Nephites in the lookout towers, yea, we came upon the city Desolation with no warning, even was it a surprise attack.  And the Nephites did panic, and did search for their weapons, but yea, they could find them not, for I did hide them good. And we did circle the city seven times, even in an attempt to frighten the Nephites. And the Lamanite army did yell their war cry as they did circle the city seven times, even did they yell woo-oo-oo-oo-oo. And the Nephites were sore afraid because they could find not their weapons.

27. And after the manner in which we did circle the city Desolation seven times and did yell woo-oo-oo-oo, yea, we did enter the city, and did begin slaying the men. And because they could find not weapons, yea, because I did hide them, we did hew them down, even with much ease.

27. And the surviving Nephites did flee from the city, and we did pursue them to the city Boaz. And because they did havest reinforcements in Boaz, yea, they did hold us off. And we did retreat back to Desolation.

28. And I gathered all the Lamanites, yea, even the Anti-Nephite Lamanites, and even the entire Lamanite army, and we did regroup at Desolation. And after the manner in which we did regroup, yea, we did attack Boaz as one mighty force, even an exceedingly great multitude of mighty Lamanites. And we did circle Boaz seven times, then we did sack the city Boaz, and drive the Nephites from the city, and cause them to retreat deeper into their lands. And we did drive them all the way to the city Jordan.

29. And I did take a break from attacking, and did cause the Lamanite soldiers to secure the city Boaz, and the city Desolation..

30. And it came to pass that later that day, yea, Howling Coyote did enter the city Boaz, and he was exceedingly angry unto me, for he came unto me with much anger in his voice: Behold, Zelph, why doth thou taketh control of my army? For I did awaken in my tent, and did find my army gone, even was I alone in the camp. And I did hear much fighting, and follow the sounds of battle, and come upon this. And I see that thou hath taken over my army without my approval, and even hath thou led all of my troops into battle which thing thou hath not the authority to do.

31. And I replied: Behold, Howling Coyote, we did havest a small window of opportunity in which to attack. Wherefore, I did makest the decision to lead the men into battle. Wherefore, forgive me my trespass. Nevertheless, we did succeed exceedingly, even did we drive the Nephites back further than we ever did before, and we did lose little Lamanite life.

32. And after I spake these things, yea, the Lamanite soldiers did cheer exceedingly, and did chant my name: ZELPH! ZELPH! ZELPH! ZELPH!

33. And two Lamanites hefted me upon their shoulders, and did parade me through the city Boaz, yea, and the multitude of Lamanite soldiers did cheer for me, and did thank me for my exceedingly good leadership.

34. And it came to pass that Howling Coyote was exceedingly jealous of my popularity, yea, for none did think him to be a goodly leader. And he did command all to stop their praise of me, and did say that those who disobey his orders shall be executed for treason.

35. And he spake, saying: Behold, men, ye did fight valiantly, and did conquer the cities Desolation and Boaz, wherefore, that is a good thing. Nevertheless, ye did follow the wrong leader, for Zelph is not thy leader, yea, only is he the leader of a small band of Anti-Nephite radicals, but yea, I am the main leader. And I say unto thee, choose ye this day who ye will follow, as for ye, ye must follow me, for I am thy commander, and I will never lead thee astray, it is not in my programme. Wherefore, I shall take back control of this army.

36. And the soldiers did murmur exceedingly, and did boo, and Howling Coyote removed his sword and threatened to smite down all who booed him. And the boos ceased, and Howling Coyote commandeth that I shall return to lead the small mob of Anti-Nephite Lamanites, and shall never again lead the regular Lamanite army.

37. And I did agree to return to my position as leader of the Anti-Nephite Lamanite mob. For I desired not to cause contention amongst the Lamanites.

38. And Howling Coyote commanded all to commence the raping and pillaging of the conquered lands. And the Lamanite army did cheer exceedingly, and did commence the raping and pillaging. And we did live amongst the Nephite lands for the space of many years, and did turn their lands into Lamanite lands through pillaging.

39. And I did gather my band of Anti-Nephite soldiers, and we did travel through the pillaged Nephite lands and did burn all the Nephite towns and villages, and did throw their possessions into the sea.

40. And we did pillage and destroy the Nephite lands for the space of many years, yea, even until my son Melph commenced his eighteenth year, and he did join us in battle, and I did take him into my small army unit, and he was a good archer, for he doth like shooting arrows, but yea he is not a goodly fighter. Nevertheless, he doth do a good job lighting fires with torches, and he is also good at pillaging.

41. And we did continue torching and pillaging the Nephite lands until we did come to near the city Jordan, which the Nephites did fortify against us, and I did think it be time to continue our assault, even to push the Nephites out of the city Jordan. And I spake unto the Anti-Nephite Lamanites: Verily,            behold, we shall await the regular Lamanite forces, yea, even the entire Lamanite army under Howling Coyote. And after the manner in which they arrive, yea, we shall commence our assault on the city Jordan.

42. And after the time of several days did pass, yea, even several weeks, the Lamanite army did still arrive not. Wherefore, I went in search of the Lamanite army, and did find them still at Boaz. And the army did relax, and did smoke much peace pipes, even were the Lamanites exceedingly idle. And Howling Coyote did even relax.

43. And I spake unto Howling Coyote, and said that me and my men did wait for them near Jordan, for we desired to continue our assault on the Nephites, for the pillaging of the conquered lands hath ended, for no more remains to pillage. And Howling Coyote spake and said that I should lead my men in first, then shall he follow.

44. And I spake that the Nephites shall not again fall for my trickery, and bade Howling Coyote to attack with the might of the Lamanite forces, for the Nephites are depleted and weakened.

45. And Howling Coyote did rub his chin and think, then did he say that we shall commence our assault in the morning.

46. And the Lamanite army did gather near the city Jordan to prepare the assault. And I did retire to my teepee for the night, for tomorrow shall be a big day.

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