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THE TESTIMONY OF
FOUR WITNESSES

We want everyone who reads this book to know that we four witnesses saw the leather plates from which this book was translated. The leather plates were the source for this book and was a record of ancient Native Americans as told by Laban the younger, The Whores, Zelph, Dances with Cureloms, and others. We also know that Josh translated the leather plates by putting a magic rock in a baseball cap, and then he put his face in the baseball cap and the translated words of the leather plates appeared before his eyes. He read the words out loud to Martin, then Martin wrote the words down on a notepad. This is how the translation was done, and we bear our testimonies that the translation is real and correct. We saw the magic rock and the baseball cap. It was a Yankee's baseball cap. We wanted to see the leather plates, so we all went over to Josh's house and he lit some candles, and dimmed the lights, then told us to close our eyes and relax and open our minds to a new way of seeing things. He then told us that if we really believed, the leather plates would appear in our minds, and he described the leather book in great detail, including descriptions of the engravings, and we imagined the engravings on the pages of the leather plates and knew that they were engravings that Indians would use. The miracle of it is that we all knew the leather plates were true and the engravings were true. Josh asked us each to describe our visions of the leather plates, and he said our descriptions were correct. It is beyond comprehension how a twenty-one year old high school drop-out, Chuck E. Cheese employee could describe ancient Indian plates with such accuracy, and how we were able to describe the inscriptions correctly. Then Josh snapped his fingers and the leather plates disappeared from our minds, and he said we were special witnesses to the leather plates, and since the vision was real and proof that we saw the leather plates, we cannot deny it, therefore, we bear testimony of these things. 

                                                                                    Martin Banks

                                                                                    Kenny Banks

                                                                                    Cody Wolinski

                                                                                    Rick Jeffries

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