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THE BOOK OF THE WHORES THEIR LIVES AND TEACHINGS
CHAPTERS
Thirty nine years of peace existed between the Lamanites and Nephites. The Lamanite population grows rapidly in numbers because of their sexual freedoms. The Nephite population grows slowly because of their chastity. Lemuel's seed is choice above all other seed. Two Nephite home teachers attempt to teach the monthly lesson to Laman. Laman threatens to behead them. [Around 550 BC]
The parents of Zerith request Laman apologize to their son for threatening to behead him. The mother of Zerith wears fine apparel. The whores covet her wealth. She offers them a business opportunity, writes it upon the son of Abitch's scrolls. Arragornia commands Laman to repent and begin the repentance process. Laman forcefully removes Arragornia from the village. [Around 550 B.C.]
The son of Abitch writes a poem for Yi Ping. Yi ping decides not to join the wife of Arragornia's business. The wife of Arragornia discovers a crass and offensive poem directed at Nephi and written by the son of Abitch. She takes the poem back to the Nephite village. Tensions escalate. [Around 550 B.C.]
A Nephite spy travels to the village to steal the son of Abitch's papyrus scroll which contain his poems. Finds a Nephite woman sleeping with Lemuel the younger, who seduced her. Returns the poems and the Nephite woman to the Nephite authorities. The son of Abitch travels to the Nephite village to retrieve his poems. Tensions continue to escalate. [Around 550 B.C.]
The son of Abitch does not return. Laman and his soldiers travel to the Nephite village to inquire of his whereabouts. Jacob claims to have not seen him. Refuses to allow the Lamanites into the Nephite village to investigate. The Nephite woman who had sex with Lemuel the younger tells the other Nephite women how great it was, beginning the sexual corruption of the Nephites. Jacob is very angry about it. Laman threatens to attack the Nephite village if they do not cooperate in his investigation of the son of Abitch's disappearance. The Nephites begin constructing an arena, which leads Laman to believe the son of Abitch's body was disposed of in the cement foundation of the new arena. [Around 550 B.C.] A group of travelers arrive from the direction of the sea. Laman warns them of the tensions between the Lamanites and Nephites, suggests a different route, over Mount Balsac, to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Shu guides them as far as Mount Balsac. She does not return. Laman and his army travel to Mount Balsac, find Shu injured, the merry travelers are slaughtered by the Nephites. Laman creates the Title of Vengeance, declares war on the Nephites. The son of Abitch returns, safe and sound. Forty years of peace ends. [Around 550 B.C.]
The whores begat many children, and their children begat many children. Yi Ping doth predict many great and wonderful things before passing on to the next life. Talks about the greatness of her posterity. Teaches the importance of open marriage and swinging to future generations. [Between 548 and 540 B.C.]
Shu shares her final words of wisdom. Claims to be a prophetess who can see the future using a crystal ball. Peers into her crystal ball and sees the coming wars between the Nephites and Lamanites, sees the Lamanites final war of freedom over the Nephites, also sees Columbus, American independence, the discovery of the Nephite record, the Civil War, World War I, Word War II, Vietnam, Watergate, the Cold War, Desert Storm, the 2000 Election Controversy, 9/11, the Iraq War, and the discovery of the Lamanite record by Josh Anderson. The accuracy of these prophecies prove Shu to be a true prophetess. [Between 548 and 540 B.C.]
Li shares her final words of wisdom. Comes out of the closet. Urges all people to be honest about their sexuality. Predicts the gay marriage debate. [Between 548 and 540 B.C.] Bo shares her final words of wisdom, which isn't much. [Between 548 and 540 B.C.]
After giving the plates to the people for one year, Shu decides making the plates public was a bad idea. The messages written on the plates by the public were mostly vulgar insults, and crass jokes. Shu buries the plates, so they can be preserved for future generations. [One Year After Chapter 10] |
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