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A Nephite spy travels to the village to steal the son of Abitch's papyrus scroll which contain his poems. Finds a Nephite woman sleeping with Lemuel the younger, who seduced her. Returns the poems and the Nephite woman to the Nephite authorities. The son of Abitch travels to the Nephite village to retrieve his poems. Tensions continue to escalate. [Around 550 B.C.]

1. And it came to pass that after the manner in which the wife of Arragornia had taken the poem of the son of Abitch from me, yea, I did return to the village. And when I did return, I determined to wait until morning to speak unto the son of Abitch, for it was that he had returned not from Mount Balsac. Wherefore, I did return to my teepee, and did dwell there for the night.

2. And it came to pass that I was awakened the following morning by the sound of much commotion, even exceedingly loud turmoil and strife did come from outside, even from another teepee. For it was that the son of Abitch did yell much profanity. And I did awaken, and did travel to his teepee.

3. And the son of Abitch had exceeding anger upon his face, and did explain that someone, even a burglar, did enterest his teepee, and did stealeth his scrolls, even all of his papyrus scrolls that do contain the poems of the son of Abitch.

4.And Laman did enter the teepee, and did learn of the crime, and did ask who it was that did this thing unto the son of Abitch. And the son of Abitch knew not, for it came to pass that he didst discover the missing scrolls when he did awaken, and he saw not who did stealeth them.

5. And Laman did order his men to search all teepees. And after the space of an hour, they came upon the teepee of Lemuel the younger, who was the son of Lemuel, brother of Laman. And when the men did enter the teepee of Lemuel the younger, they beheld him bound with rope, and ransacked his teepee was, even was it exceedingly ransacked.

6. And the men did untie him, and did send for Laman, and the son of Abitch, and even Lemuel. And Laman and the son of Abitch did arrive at the teepee of Lemuel the younger, but Lemuel could be found not, for it is that Lemuel does sleep in a different teepee every night. And Laman and the son of Abitch spake unto Lemuel the younger, and did ask what it was that did happen, and who it was that did bind him with rope.

7. And Lemuel the younger did explain the events that did lead him to be bound with rope, and even his teepee to be ransacked. And the events he spake shall lead to even more tension between the Lamanites and the Nephites.

8. Now Lemuel the younger was like unto his father, Lemuel. For Lemuel the younger was blessed with the gift of seduction, and of satisfying women, and of dark toned skin, which thing maketh all women desire to know him exceedingly well, even like unto his father.

9. And it was that Lemuel the younger did confess to seeking out new women to know, even did he seek out women from amongst the Nephites. For it was that Lemuel the younger did already know all the Lamanite women of the village who were not his sisters. And it was that he was bored, and idle, and therefore did desire to fornicate with new flesh.

10. And Laman did chastise Lemuel the younger for seeking out Nephite women. For it was that Lamanite women were exceedingly desirable, and wherefore none should have need for Nephite women.

11. And Lemuel the younger did reply: Yea, Uncle Laman, it is that I believe the women of this village are exceedingly goodly. But it is that I desire to know Nephites. For it is that I prefer white meat, if thou doth know what I mean.

12. And the son of Abitch asked what this doth have to do with Lemuel the younger being bound with rope. And what did lead the poems of the son of Abitch to be stolen?

13. And Lemuel the younger did explain what happened. For it was that he did travel into the wilderness, and did discover a Nephite woman who did pick berries. And he desired to know her. Wherefore, he came upon her, and sang unto her a ballad, and did pick a flower and gaveth it unto her, which things did flatter her, and did maketh her to want to know him better.

14. And after the manner in which Lemuel the younger used his gift of seduction on the Nephite woman, yea, he did lead her to his teepee, and did know her for many hours, even did they commit many transgressions together, and she was exceedingly satisfied, and did fall asleep in his arms.

15. And it came to pass that sometime during the night, according to Lemuel the younger, a Nephite man did enter his teepee and did chastise the Nephite woman for her sin. For knowing a man outside of marriage is an abomination amongst the Nephites, and knowing a Lamanite man is a crime second only to murder. Wherefore, the Nephite man did grab the Nephite woman by the wrist in an attempt to return her back to the Nephite village so as she can begin the repentance process.

16. And because he did seek to preserve the woman's life, for he did fear she would be executed for her crime, Lemuel the younger did lunge at the man in an attempt to fight him. But wo, for Lemuel the younger was like unto his father, even was he a lover, not a fighter.

17. And the Nephite man unleashed an uppercut upon Lemuel the younger, which thing did knock Lemuel the younger out cold. And when he did awaken, he beheld himself tied up with ropes.

18. And Lemuel the younger did speak one more thing, even a thing that did maketh the son of Abitch to have much anger. For Lemuel the younger said that the Nephite man who did fight him, and did tie him up, did haveth amongst him many scrolls, even scrolls that did look like unto the son of Abitch's scrolls. And the Nephite man did take the scrolls with him, to the Nephite village.

19. And the son of Abitch spake many obscenities, even in a loud voice, and did pick up many items, and did throw them. And after the manner in which the son of Abitch did show much emotion, yea, he did return to his teepee.

20. And it came to pass that I did suspect what did happen. For it was that the wife of Arragornia delivered the poem called Ode to Nephi to the Nephite authorities, as she did promise. And the Nephite who did come upon our village last night was a spy, even a spy who desired to steal all of the son of Abitch's poems. And he did this thing so as the Lamanites would have no poems critical of Nephi.

21. And after the manner in which the Nephite spy did steal the poems, yea, he did discover the Nephite woman, and desired to return her to Nephi, so as she could be punished.

22. And I desired to speak these things unto the son of Abitch. But wo, for it was that he was in an exceedingly bad mood. Nevertheless, it was that he must know the truth.

23. And I did enter his teepee, and did discover him sitting in a chair, his face in his hands, and he was weeping.

24. And I spake unto him: Son of Abitch, it is that I know why the Nephite did stealeth thy poems. For the poem which thou did givest unto me did have on the back a poem about Nephi, even a poem that said he knows goats. And the wife of Arragornia did discover the poem, and told on you to the Nephite authorities, which thing did maketh them desirous to remove all thy poems so as they shall not influence others.

25. And the son of Abitch did stop crying, and stood up, and spake no words. And he did pickest up his sword, and put supplies in his backpack, and abruptly walked out of his teepee. And I did follow him, but he spake not, nor did he look back at me, nor look at anyone, for he did move with much determination. And he did travel outside the village, in the direction of Nephi's village.

26. And I did run to Laman's teepee, and spake unto him: Laman behold, the son of Abitch does travel to Nephi's village, for he desires to retrieve his poems that the Nephite spy did stealeth. And he goes alone, and because the son of Abitch is elderly, yea, it shall be suicide.

27. And Laman beheld me, and spake: I fear no good shall come of this, even shall only bad things come to pass.

28. And it shall come to pass that I did fear exceedingly that the prediction of Laman shall come true, for when he did leave, the son of Abitch haddeth a crazy look in his eye.

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