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The son of Abitch writes a poem for Yi Ping. Yi ping decides not to join the wife of Arragornia's business. The wife of Arragornia discovers a crass and offensive poem directed at Nephi and written by the son of Abitch. She takes the poem back to the Nephite village. Tensions escalate. [Around 550 B.C.]

1. And it came to pass that I, Yi Ping, shall continue this narrative by engraving more words upon these plates.

2. And I did explain the wife of Arragornia's business plan unto Laman, and did plead with him to loan me ten nuggets of gold from the Lamanite treasury so as me and mine daughters shall join the business.

3. And Laman did turn down my request, and did explain unto me that the Lamanite treasury is used to provide for the village collective, and is not to be invested in shady business schemes.

4. And it was that I must find another way to getteth the money, for I did only have a few hours before it was time to meet with the wife of Arragornia. And wo be unto me, for if I have not the money for her, than shall she giveth the opportunity to another, and me and mine daughters shall have missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

5. And I did visit the son of Abitch, who did sit at the top of Mount Balsac, which mountain was named after the monkey Balsac. For Balsac was a legend amongst the Lamanites, and he did die of old age three years ago. And all did mourn his loss. And it was that his remains be buried at the top of Mount Balsac, which was named after him so as to honor him. And the son of Abitch did go to Mount Balsac frequently to pay his respects to Balsac, for they were best of friends.

6. And when I came upon the son of Abitch who did sit in solitude at the top of Mount Balsac, yea, I did plead my case unto him. And he did turn down my request, and did explain unto me that he is a simple poet, and hath not any gold, not even ten nuggets, nor even a flake of gold. For it is that he finds happiness not through wealth, but through writing poetry.

7. And it came to pass that he spake unto me and did ask who it was that did writeth upon his papyrus scroll. For it came to pass that he did find circles, and even lines, and numbers scribbled upon one of the pages of his papyrus scroll.

8. And I did explain the circumstances unto him, and spake that the pictures that he beheld on his papyrus scroll was the business plan of the wife of Arragornia. And I did explain that it was an exceedingly good business plan. And if it is that me and mine daughters join, yea, the son of Abitch can sign up under us and pay us ten nuggets of gold as our first customer.

9. And the son of Abitch did chastise me for my greediness. And he did explain that none shall write upon his papyrus scrolls excepteth it be him.

10. And after he did finish his chastisement of me, yea, he did compose a poem, which he sayeth would teach me the wickedness of greed. And he did write his poem upon his papyrus scroll. And when he did finish, yea, he did tear out the part of the scroll that did have the poem, and did giveth it unto me to keep.

11. And I beheld the poem in my hand, even the poem that the son of Abitch did give unto me out of his papyrus scroll. And the poem was entitled: Greed is Bad.

12. And the poem did read: Gold, silver, and precious things, do they bring happiness? Nay. Nature, birds, and poetry. Do they bring happiness? Yea. Power, money, and fine apparel. Do they bring happiness? Nay. Songs, friends, and family. Do they bring happiness? Yea.

13. And I did have tears in my eyes after I did read the poem that the son of Abitch did write for me, for it was a goodly poem, even was it exceedingly goodly.

14. And I did thank the son of Abitch, for I did now understand that I was enticed by greed, which thing did cloud my judgment. And his poems did always bring clarity to those who did read and ponder them. For it was that the son of Abitch hath been a poet in this village for thirty and nine years, and his poems hath brought much peace and happiness unto the people. And his poems were worth more than all the gold and silver in the Lamanite treasury. And I did hug him.

15. And the son of Abitch did hug me back, and did tell me to remember what things be important, and what it is that doth bring happiness.

16. And I did thank him, and did return to my daughters. And did share the poem with them. And they did all have tears in their eyes after I spake the poem. And we did determine that we shall not join the business of the wife of Arragornia.

17. And because I did promise to meet the wife of Arragornia at the oak tree, yea, I concluded that I shall keep my word and meet her, and speak unto her the things I did feel, and tell her that me and mine daughters shall not invest gold in her business, for it was that she did focus on the things of greed, not of happiness. And even shall I share the son of Abitch's poem with her.

18. And I did journey to the oak tree in the wilderness so as I could meet with the wife of Arragornia at the appointed time.

19. And it was that the wife of Arragornia did arrive at the appointed time, and she spake unto me: Greetings Yi Ping. It is that seeing thee here, beneath the oak tree, doth bring happiness to my heart. For I knew not if thou were still desirous to meet me. For my husband and Laman did leave on bad terms. Nevertheless, I do exceedingly hope that the ugly incident between Laman and my husband doth have no ill affect on our business relationship.

20. And I spake unto the wife of Arragornia, even did I say: Behold wife of Arragornia, it is that I choose not to join thy business, nor shall my daughters join thy business. For it is that we choose another path, yea, even a path of happiness.

21. And the wife of Arragornia did reply unto me: Yea, Yi Ping, why is it that thou doth change thy mind? For it is that this shall be an opportunity of a lifetime. For it is that all thy dreams shall come true. And even if ye think ye cannot do it, ye must to fake it 'til you make it.

22. And I did reply: Nay, for it is that I doth have other priorities besides money. And even if it came to pass that I desired to invest in thy business, it is that I cannot. For it is that I have not ten nuggets of gold, nor do I have the means to raise ten nuggets of gold. For I did attempt it, and did fail. Nevertheless, I do have sufficient for my needs, but no more for business pursuits.

23. And the wife of Arragornia did reply: Behold, I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. And if it so be that thou hath not the ability, nor desire, to raise ten nuggets of gold, it must needs be that I shall waste no more time with thee. And inasmuch as thou doth have not the means to join, doth thou knoweth of anyone else who may be interested? For it is that I do have room for more people, and it is that I am looking for people who desire to change their lives for the better, and who are go getters. Doth thou knowest of anyone who has ten nuggets of gold, and who may be interested?

24. And I did reply: Nay, for it is that none else amongst the village shall be interested. Nevertheless, why doth thou need me to provide thee with leads? For thou spake yesterday that thou did havest many people who desired to join thy business, even did thou say that thou did havest limited spots, which did makest me to think I must hurry to givest thee money. Is it that thou did trick me?

25. And the wife of Arragornia did stand all amazed and in shock at my accusations. And she spake angrily at me: How dare thee, a Lamanite, accuse me of trickery. For thou did pretend to be interested yesterday, which thing did cause me to waste exceedingly much time traveling here today. Wherefore, it is ye who art the liar, and the tricker.

26. And I replied: Nay, for indeed it was that I was interested yesterday, but a wise man hath corrected my thinking, and he writeth wise words of counsel unto me, even did he write a poem which did makest me to realize thy business is not a goodly business.

27. And the wife of Arragornia desired to hear the words that did maketh me to change my mind. And I did taketh out the poem that the son of Abitch did compose. And I did read it out loud to her: Gold, silver, and precious things, do they bring happiness? Nay. Nature, birds, and poetry. Do they bring happiness? Yea. Power, money, and fine apparel. Do they bring happiness? Nay. Songs, friends, and family. Do they bring happiness? Yea.

28. And after hearing the words of my mouth, yea, even the poem that the son of Abitch did write, the wife of Arragornia was unmoved. And I was shocked that she cried not, nor did she show any emotion. It was that she did simply stare at the papyrus I did hold up, even did she stare at it with much concentration, even did she stare for the space of a minute.

29. And after the manner in which the wife of Arragornia gazed at the papyrus, yea, she did snatch the papyrus from my hand, and spake: Behold, Yi Ping, I see that there is something written on the back of this paper.

30. And she did read the papyrus, yea, not the poem, but words that were written on the back. For when the son of Abitch did tear the poem from his scroll, yea, he did tear out the words of the poem, and he did also tear out the words that were written upon the back of the page.

31. And the wife of Arragornia did finish reading the words on the back of the papyrus, and she had exceeding anger upon her face, and she spake unto me, even in an angry voice: Verily I ask of thee, who is it that doth write these poems?

32. And I replied: Behold, the Lamanite poet who doth write poems is the son of Abitch. And he hath been writing poems upon his scrolls for the space of thirty and nine years, and he is a goodly poet, even the greatest poet of all the Lamanites.

33. And the wife of Arragornia spake: Behold Yi Ping, did thou readest the poem on the back of this paper? For it is a vile, and wicked poem, and goodly it is not.

34. And I did reply: Nay, for I did only read the poem on the front, even the exceedingly goodly poem entitled 'Greed is Bad.' For I did notice not words on the back.

35. And the wife of Arragornia did reply: Behold, it is that I shall read the poem to thee now, for it is called Ode to Nephi.

36. And the wife of Arragornia did commence reading the poem on the back, even did she read Ode to Nephi: Behold, Cureloms are brown, Blue-birds are blue, Nephi knows goats, And he knows sheep too.

37. And it came to pass that after the wife of Arragornia did read the Ode to Nephi, yea, she was exceedingly offended. For Nephi was her prophet, and a holy man unto her. And she did find much offense in the poem that the son of Abitch did write.

38. And the wife of Arragornia did speak unto me: Behold, it is that I find thy poet, even the poet named the son of Abitch, exceedingly untalented, for the son of Abitch doth kick against the pricks, which thing is an abomination. Wherefore,  because of the offense that he doth commit, even the blasphemy against Nephi, the prophet, yea, I shall take these poems unto the Nephite authorities. And I do recommend unto thee that ye doth warn the son of Abitch to expect a visit, for this crime against the lord's anointed shall go not unpunished.

39. And it came to pass that after she did finish speaking her anger at me, yea, the wife of Arragornia did turn and quickly travel back to the Nephite village. And she did taketh the papyrus, even the papyrus with the poems written upon them.

40. And I did move swiftly back to the village. For it must needs be that I warn the son of Abitch, and even must I warn Laman. For the tensions between our two nations do continue to escalate.

41. And thus concludes the third chapter.

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