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THE
AN ACCOUNT WRITTEN BY
THE HAND OF ZELPH
UPON PLATES TAKEN FROM THE PLATES OF LABAN THE YOUNGER, THE WHORES, AND DANCES WITH CURELOMS
These leather plates are an abridgement of the record of the people of Laban, The Whores, Dances with Cureloms, and other ancient Americans known collectively as "Lamanites" who mixed their seed and DNA with the Asian women who accompanied Laban the Younger when he sailed to the American Continent, approximately 600BC, in an attempt to avenge the murder of his father Laban at the hands of Nephi. The followers of Nephi became known as Nephites and are a remnant of Jerusalem, and did not mix their seed with Asian whores, and therefore, should have Israelite DNA markers. Unfortunately, the Nephites were destroyed by the Lamanites approximately 400 A.D. and their remains can no longer be found on this continent, not even by scientific means, because they lived in a limited geography which nobody has been able to find. The Book of Zelph is written by way of knowledge, by great men of this, the American continent and it was engraved upon plates. It was written and hid away from the disbelieving eyes of the overly religious man until that day that it can come forth to the secular, gentile Americans of the twenty-first century, and fill the holes in the Book of Mormon narrative and explain away the problems of Book of Mormon historicity, and explain the DNA controversy and the lack of physical evidence. The plates were preserved by Zelph, the White Lamanite, and given to his son, Melph, who kept them hidden. They were hid away until a time that they could come forth so that the gentiles can understand the rest of the Book of Mormon story.
And now, if there are faults with this book it is nothing to worry about. Even if you're reading this book and you think to yourself, "No way!" just remember, maybe it could be true. Therefore, condemn not the things of Laban, The Whores, Dances with Cureloms, Zelph or any other characters in this book, for they are real, I promise.
TRANSLATED BY JOSH ANDERSON AUTHOR AND PROPRIETOR |
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