<Back | Next>

CHAPTER 2

Phil writes his story on leather pages. The father of Phil dies. Phil doesn't know what to do with his life. Is recruited by the Nephite army. Finds poems on scrolls in his father's basement. The poems inspire him. Phil decides to seek out Onandagus to help him learn more about the lessons in the poems, travels to the land of Onandagus, defeats four Gadianton robbers, discovers the spot where Shu buried the plates, digs them up and reads them. [Between 321 and 323 A.D.]

1. And it came to pass that I, Phil, which name is short for Philippians which is my long name, doth write more words upon these plates, even shall I write things that seemeth good. And no more blank plates are there for me to write upon, for I do use up all the blank metal pages that were on the record of Laban the younger and the whores. And because I havest not gold, nor silver, nor any precious metal, for I seek not after riches, for I now follow the teachings of Chief Nephi the Lamanite, yea, even am I like unto a Lamanite, which thing I shall explain later. Wherefore, I doth use leather to write upon. And I doth engrave my words upon pieces of leather, using a hot metal writing instrument, which I make by putting a metal thing in the fire. And I append the leather pages to the gold, and silver, and bronze, and stone plates of Laban and the whores.

2. Now, within a couple years after the manner in which I winneth the chariot race championship, yea, there began to be wars and contentions again in the land. And my father did die of his disease. And afterwards, yea, the Nephite army desired to recruit me into battle, for they had much needs for a skilled chariot driver.

3. And because I had not anything better to do, and because my father be dead, and I havest no other family, yea, I did agree to sign up for the Nephite army.

4. And before I did leave my home, I did gather up many things, and even did I find in my father's basement, among his collections, many scrolls, even papyrus scrolls. And written upon these scrolls were words of exceeding wisdom, and even some that did speak of people and places, and did speak lovingly of such things, and did rhyme, for the things that were written were poems.

5. And I endeavored to gathereth up all my father's scrolls, and taketh them with me to my new home, even my home amongst the Nephite army.

6. And I did pack my chariot, even did I pack weapons, and a shield, and food, and extra footwear, and journeyed to my appointed place, amongst other Nephite warriors on the battlefield, for it was that we were at war against many Lamanites.

7. And it came to pass that the Nephite captain, even the leader of my platoon, did desire much to defeat the Lamanite enemy. And he did give unto us motivational talks always, and said unto us to smite off the heads, and tear off the limbs of our enemies, and even to slit their throats from ear to ear, and even to disembowel them, and rip out their hearts, and even to kill them exceedingly. And the commander sayest unto us that we must slaughter our enemies before they do slaughter us. And all the soldiers do cheer when the commander would sayest these motivational talks unto us.

8. And after the space of many months, yea, even a year, I saw much death and destruction, and much raping and pillaging. And I did kill many Lamanite warriors, and I did see many of my Nephite comrades fallen in battle, which things bringeth sadness unto my heart.

9. And when the Nephite army did gather to eat, yea, they did contend one with another, for many churches were built upon the land, and the members of these churches desired to teach their beliefs unto others. And many people contended over beliefs. And secret combinations did divide the beliefs of the Nephites. And the Nephite soldiers did argue over who's god was correct, and some desired to become Gadianton robbers. And some did quit the army for they desired peace, and some did change sides, and did go over to amongst the Lamanites to fight against us. And even did some Lamanites change sides, and come fight with us. And it was an exceedingly disorganized war, and many did die for no cause.

10. And it came to pass that when I did sleep at night, yea, I read the words upon my father's scrolls, even the poems, and they brought gladness unto my heart, for they did preach peace, and happiness, and love, and joy.

11. And I came upon many passages that were like unto enigmas, even like mysteries wrapped inside a riddle. And I desired to decode the words upon the scrolls wherefore I could discern from whence the scrolls came, for I was desirous to live amongst the people whom the scrolls spake of.

12. And I discovered patterns in the scrolls, and did maketh notes of names and places. And I did look upon the first letters of each line of one poem, and the first letters did spell out: F-I-N-D  T-H-E  P-L-A-T-E-S.

13. And I did find another poem, and the first letters of each line did spell out: I  L-O-V-E  S-H-U

14. And even another poem spake of flowers and butterflies when I did read it normally, but yea, when I did read it backwards, it did say: NEPHI MUST DIE!

15. And after finding these secret clues hidden within the words of the poems, yea, and after finding other secret clues, I knew that whosoever did write these poems desired for me to seek out these clues, and follow where they shall lead. And I knew this thing with all my heart, and with every fiber of my being.

16. And one clue did I understand, yea, even there was a poem that did say only one line: REMEMBER THE MOUNT BALSAC MASSACRE. And I did rememberest that Onandagus, the Lamanite whom did come in second at the chariot race, and whom did havest a tapir to pull his chariot, dwelt in the valley below Mount Balsac. And he did say Mount Balsac was to the south, even in the land southward.

17. And because I desired to fight no more, yea, and I so desired instead to live in peace, I loaded my belongings into my chariot, and fled from the war, even did I flee exceedingly fast, for if the Nephites discovered me fleeing they shall think I change sides to the Lamanites, and shall desire to slay me. Wherefore, I commanded Whitey to run exceedingly fast, even in the southernly direction.

18. And it came to pass that Whitey did run like the wind, and we did escape from the battle zone, and did makest our way into the peaceful wilderness, far away from battle. Nevertheless, it must needs be that I continue to be sneaky, and lookest out for Gadianton robbers, for inasmuch as they frequently stalk the quiet roads, for they desire to rob those who travel upon the quiet back roads, yea, I did havest my sword at the ready.

19. And it came to pass that when I came upon a dark path, yea, even a quiet dark path, four figures emerged from the shadows, and they were Gadianton robbers, and they spake unto me: Behold, givest unto us all thy gold and silver and precious things. And if ye do as we ask, yea, perhaps we shall let thee live. But if ye do not as we ask, behold, ye shall surely perish.

20. And I spake back: Nay, for I have not those things. Wherefore, steppest aside and let me pass.

21. And the four Gadianton robbers beheld my chariot racing trophy, which did sticketh out of a bag in the back of my chariot, and was made of solid gold. And the one who spake before sayeth unto me: Givest unto us that golden idol, for if thou giveth us not the things we ask for, behold, we shall come upon thee, and slay thee.

22. And I spake back unto them: Behold, thou mayest to try and take it from me, but wo be unto thee, for I shall defend it with my sword.

23. And the four Gadianton robbers came upon me with their swords, and desired to slay me, and to steal my trophy, but because I was exceedingly skilled at sword fighting, yea, I did defend myself from their attack. And I smote off the arms of three of the Gadianton robbers. And after the manner in which I smote off their arms, yea, I did smite off their legs, and I did smite off their heads also. And the fourth Gadianton robber came upon me, even with much anger in his eyes, for he desired to avenge the death of his friends. But wo be unto him, for Whitey did bite his pants, and held him back away from me.

24. And it came to pass that I disarmed the fourth Gadianton robber by taking his sword from him. And I gatherest up the arms, and heads, and legs of the three dead Gadianton robbers, whom I defeated with my sword. And I placed their heads and limbs inside a basket, and gaveth the basket unto the fourth Gadianton robber whom I let live.

25. And after the manner in which I gatherest up the limbs and heads of his comrades, and gave them unto the fourth Gadianton robber in a basket, yea, I spake unto him, saying: Behold, takest these heads, and arms, and legs unto thy leader, and say unto him a message from me, even say that he must cease from robbing and murdering innocent travelers, for if he doth not do this thing I ask, yea, he shall receive more of these gift baskets.

26. And the fourth Gadianton robber trembled in fear of me, and after he gazed inside the basket, and beheld the heads and limbs, yea, he did throwest up, even did he vomit much upon the ground, for the sight of the body parts brought exceeding illness upon him.

27. And after the manner in which I defeated the four Gadianton robbers, yea, I did gettest back inside my chariot, and did command Whitey to continue on our journey, even our journey to a better life, even a life that hath not robbers, nor wars, nor contentions, for I desire peace, and abhor violence.

28. And after the space of many days, yea, Whitey and I came upon a valley in the southern lands. And I beheld a mountain in the distance, and in a valley by the mountain were many teepees. And I knowest this to be the land of Onandagus, for it did fit the description that Onandagus spake unto me.

29. And I spake unto Whitey: Behold Whitey, this is the place, wherefore, giddy-up.

30. And Whitey pulled me toward Mount Balsac, for I desired to begin my investigation there. And after the space of many hours, we came upon the top of Mount Balsac, and because of the words of his poems, I knoweth the author of them did many times sit atop this mountain, even for inspiration.

31. And I beheld the majesty of the land from atop Mount Balsac, and I could see the things that many of the poems did speak of, even did I see a vast wilderness, and beautiful nature, and birds, and a marvelous horizon. And no cities could I see, for this wilderness was an unmolested paradise.

32. And I did lie on the lush field atop Mount Balsac, and did takest in the beauty all around me. And I did pitch a tent and camp for the night.

33. And the next morning I awakened, and endeavored to search the mountain for clues. And after the manner in which I began seeking clues, yea, after a few hours, I came upon an inscription on stone, even on a boulder. And the inscription read: If thou seeketh wisdom and truth, yea, thou shouldest to dig twenty paces behind thee. And thou shouldest use the rock to translate the plates.

34. And it came to pass that I stood all amazed at the inscription, for the poems did mention plates often, and this inscription doth say where the plates shall be. Wherefore, I did pace off twenty paces, and began digging.

35. And after many hours of digging, I found nothing. Wherefore, I thinketh whosoever did writest the inscription to be a liar. Nevertheless, I did search the poems for more clues to this mystery.

36. And after the space of many hours, yea, I came upon a poem entitled 'Little Feet'. And the poem was about the little feet of Shu, which thing the poet did findest exceedingly beautiful, and delightful.

37. Thy feet are little. Which thing I likest exceedingly. Like unto half a man's are they. And though little, they takest thee far. I love the little feet of Shu. For they are like unto two flowers. And they smell not bad. But they smell like unto sweet berries

38. And I thinketh that if it was that Shu did pace off the distance between the boulder and the burial spot for the plates, yea, she did use her little feet to measure the paces. Wherefore, I did dig in the wrong spot. And the poem did say that Shu's feet were like unto half a man's foot. Wherefore, I did use this clue, and did pace off ten paces this time, and did begin digging in my new spot.

39. And after the manner of only a few minutes did pass, yea, I did strike something hard. And I did uncover the earth from atop it. And I beheld a stone box, even an exceedingly large stone box. And after the manner in which I did remove the cover, yea, I beheld a multitude of plates, even gold plates, and silver plates with jewels, and stone plates, and even bronze plates.

40. And I gazed upon the plates, and discovered them to be written in a strange language, for the characters upon the plates were unknown to me. And the message on the boulder spake of a rock that must be used to translate the plates. And I gazed inside the box, and beheld a rock. And I knew not how to use the rock to translate the plates. Wherefore, I read upon the scrolls for more clues.

41. And I did findest upon the scrolls a poem entitled 'Magic Rock.' And the poem spake of looking at the rock inside a hat.

42. Magic rock inside my hat, ye makest me to see, even things my eyes do not, is it an illusion? I think not.

43. Wherefore, I removed my helmet, and placed the rock inside, then I held the helmet and rock over the plates, and gazed closely upon the rock inside my helmet. And after the space of only a few seconds, yea, words did appear, even the translated words of the plates. Wherefore, it came to pass that the rock was an enchanted rock, even a magic rock that doth translate words of a strange language into regular language. 

44. And I spent much time reading the words upon the plates, which did inspire me. And I readeth out loud so Whitey could hear and be bored not.

45. And after the manner in which I finished reading the plates, yea, I desired exceedingly to live like unto Laban, and the son of Abitch, and the whores, and Laman, and Lemuel, for they did live the good life. And the Nephites and Lamanites of today hath become corrupted, and they live not the teachings found upon these plates, for they corrupted the teachings of the plates, and the knowledge upon the plates became lost.

46. And I did think the people who did live like unto Laban, and the son of Abitch, and the whores, and Laman, and Lemuel, shall be the people of Onandagus, for they lived nearby Mount Balsac. And I gazed upon their teepees in the valley below. And I was determined to live amongst them. Wherefore, I did pack my supplies aboard my chariot, and did gathereth up the plates, and did command Whitey to carry me forth to the valley below so I may visit the people of Onandagus, and dwell amongst them.

47. And thus concludes the second chapter of my life story, for the code of the Son of Abitch hath been cracked, and I have followed the clues hidden within his poems, and discovered the secret buried plates.

48. Wherefore, I now go forth and open a new chapter in my life. Wherefore, I shall see you later.

  Home

© 2005 Josh Anderson Enterprises, All rights reserved. 

<Back | Next>