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CHAPTER 2

Melph learns a terrible secret. Onandagus is struck dumb by Tiger Lilly and trampled by a herd of cureloms. Melph retrieves his father's plates through stratagem and rebuilds his father's casino. Melph uses the gold from the plates to make gold coins and fine jewelry. Melph hides the handcart with the few remaining plates in a cave behind the casino. The casino is popular with the Lamanite soldiers. [Between 380 and 385 A.D.]

1. And now I Melph shall commence this next chapter of my story, for I desire vengeance upon the head of Onandagus.

2. And it came to pass that I journeyed to the Onandagus tribal village, and was greeted by the great wall, yea, even the great wall that my grandfather did design and construct. And my grandfather did work with his friend Onandagus to construct this great wall. And it doth sadden me to know that Onandagus doth turn against our family, even is he now an enemy unto me.

3. And the guards, seeing that I be Melph, did allow me to enter the village, and did greet me, and spake unto me why I did leave the great war, for the Lamanites are winning.

4. And I spake a lie unto the guards, and did tell them that my father was killed in battle, and I was allowed to leave the battlefield so as to retrieve my father's plates.

5. And it came to pass that the guards believed in my story, and no more questioned me. And I spake unto them that I must speak with Onandagus. And the guards led me to the teepee of Onandagus so as I may speak unto him.

6. And I beheld the teepee of Onandagus to be the greatest of all teepees, for it was exceedingly large, and had jewels fastened to it.

7. And I did enter the teepee of Onandagus, and because I desired to retrieve the plates with no contention, I did pretend not to know of Onandagus's wickedness, and I spake kind words unto him: Greetings, Onandagus, my leader and prophet, I cometh unto thee in my hour of mourning, for my father hath fallen in battle, even hath he been slain by the enemy, even the Nephites. Wherefore, I did bury his body, and I now come to retrieve the plates, for he spake unto me that I shall inherit the plates when he dies, yea, even after he doth give up the ghost.

8. And it came to pass that Onandagus did inhale from his peace pipe, and he had much thought on his face, and then he spake back at me: Behold, Melph, why doth thou leave the battlefield? For we have taken much Nephite land and shall soon complete the final solution to the Nephite problem, yea, even shall the genocide be complete. And I heareth not from a reliable source that thy father hath perished. Only doth ye say such things. Wherefore, I desire to learn of thy father's battlefield death through official sources before I shall believe him to be dead. Until then, the plates belong to me.

9. And I replied, even with much anger in my voice: Nay, Onandagus, the plates belong to me.

10. And it came to pass that Onandagus took a long puff on his peace pipe, and much awkward silence passed, then did he look at me and laugh, and he spake unto me: Behold, if thou can prove thy father be dead, yea, ye shall havest thy plates.

11. And I spake back at Onandagus: Behold, Onandagus, come with me and I shall show unto thee the final resting place of my father, yea, and we shall dig him up, and ye shall behold his dead body.

12. And Onandagus rubbed his hands together, and spake, saying: Very well, we shall go and see that thy father is dead, and I desire thy mother to come with us, for she must know of her husbands fate.

13. And it came to pass that we retrieved my mother, and the three of us did travel to the remains of my father's old burned casino, and I dug down to where my father be buried, even did I reach his body, and I removed the dirt from atop him.

14. And my mother did scream out in exceeding agony at the site of my father's corpse, for my father was her one true love, and her soul mate, and no man shall take his place.

15. And it came to pass that Onandagus, being exceedingly vile and wicked, did attempt to have a poker face, nevertheless, his true intentions did show through, for he did smile exceedingly. And he knew not that I knoweth his true intentions, for he desired my mother's hand, and I shall never allow it. Nevertheless, Onandagus doth hold the keys to the plates, and it must needs be I play along if I desire to retrieve them.

16. And I spake unto Onandagus: Behold, I have proven my father did die. Wherefore, giveth unto me his plates, for I am the rightful heir.

17. And Onandagus had much mischeif in his eyes, and after the manner of having mischief in his eyes, yea, he laughed an evil laugh, and spake, saying: Behold, everything is going according to my plans, wherefore, I shall offer unto thee a deal, Melph. I desire thy mother's hand in marriage, for she is now a widow. And after the manner in which I marry her, behold, I shall give unto thee thy father's plates.

18. And my mother looked upon Onandagus with much hatred and repulsion in her eyes, and she replied: Behold, Onandagus, I shall cleave unto a curelom before I marry thee. For my skin doth crawl in thy presence.

19. And Onandagus replied: Very well, I shall keep the plates.

20. And it came to pass that I removed my sword, and spake unto Onandagus: Give unto me the plates, or prepare to die.

21. And Onandagus removed his sword, and replied: If ye strike me down, ye shall never retrieve the plates, for I hold the key, and ye know not where the key be.

22. And I replied: Have ye not read the plates, Onandagus? For I shall simply smite off thy head, and putteth on thy clothes, and go unto thy servants and command them to giveth me the plates. For it did work for Laban's murderer, and it shall work for me; wherefore, prepare to die.

23. And it came to pass that I came upon Onandagus with my sword, but yea, I am not a goodly sword fighter, for I am trained mostly in pillaging. And Onandagus did easily defend against me, then did he drive me back, and did finally strike my arm, and I did drop my sword, and grasp my injured arm in pain.

24. And my mother cried out for Onandagus to stop.

25. And Onandagus spake unto me: Behold, Melph, thou doth know not what ye do, for thou doth know not who I am.

26. And my mother replied: Stop, Onandagus! Speak no more, or I shall place a spell upon thee.

27. But it came to pass that Onandagus did ignore my mother's plea, and we did continue our debate. And I replied: Behold, I know of thy iniquities, Onandagus, for I know that ye walked in on my mother while she doth change clothes. And ye lusted after her, and did betray my father, and desired for him to die in battle, and did set him up to die.

28. And Onandagus replied: Nay, Melph, I did none of those things to thy father, I did those things to a man named Zelph. Behold, Melph, I am your father.

29. And I did not believe the words of Onandagus's mouth, and I beheld my mother, and she did look to the ground in embarrassment and shame.

30. And I looked back at Onandagus and said: Nay, 'tis not true, for it is impossible.

31. And Onandagus replied: Search thy feelings, Melph, ye know it to be true.

32. And I searched my feelings, and I beheld mother, and she denied it not, even did she speak not. Wherefore, her actions did manifest the truthfulness of Onandagus's words.

33. And I spake unto my mother: Why, mother, why did thee betray thy husband, even Zelph who is my real father, for he did raise me?

34. And my mother replied: Behold, Melph, verily I say unto thee, forgiveth me, for thy father was always away in battle, and I was lonely, and emotionally vulnerable, and Onandagus did bring me flowers, and he was sensitive to my needs, and he did say that if he was my husband he would never leave for battle, for he would desire to only be home with me. And the words of his mouth did seduce me. And he came upon my teepee during a time when I was in need of fornication, and I did lie with him, and let him fornicate me, and nine months after fornication, behold, ye were born.

35. And I replied: But how did dad, even Zelph, thy husband, not know?

36. And my mother replied: Behold, Zelph did fornicate me before going to battle, and he did return after ye were born. Wherefore, I did say that thou were older than thou really were, even did I lie so as thy birth shall match with the day Zelph did fornicate me.

37. And I replied unto my mother: Behold, so my birthday is not correct? I havest a different real birthday?

38. And my mother replied: Yea, forgive me my son, for I do now hate Onandagus, for Zelph was my one true love. Onandagus beguiled me, and now that the truth is out I shall never marry him, and I shall always cherish Zelph's memory, for he shall be my only husband, and I shall liveth out the remainder of my days as a widow.

39. And Onandagus spake unto my mother: Behold, woman, I doth love thee, and if loving thee is wrong, behold, I desire not to be right, and if I cannot haveth thee, nobody can. Wherefore, prepare to die.

40. And it came to pass that Onandagus came upon my mother, yea, even to slay her.

41. Now my mother, being exceedingly skilled in the art of witchcraft, did raise her hand, and did place a spell on Onandagus, and Onandagus did freeze, for he could move not after my mother did place the spell upon him.

42. And my mother spake her spell: Behold, Onandagus, thou shalt be struck dumb, that thou shalt never open thy mouth any more, and thou shalt not propose to me any more, for no words shall come from thy mouth, even shall ye no more have utterance. 

43. And after the manner in which my mother casteth the spell on Onandagus, yea, Onandagus was struck dumb that he could not have utterance. And when he attempted to speak, yea, no words came from his mouth.

44. And when Onandagus beheld that my mother's spell did work, yea, he trembled in fear of my mother's exceeding powers, and he fled from our presence, even did he run away from us quickly.

45. And it came to pass that after Onandagus journeyed for the space of about fifty yards away from us, behold, a herd of cureloms did run through the wilderness, and they did trample Onandagus, yea, and he was run upon and trodden down, even until he was dead.

46. And after the manner in which the cureloms did trample Onandagus, yea, and after he did die from it, and the cureloms did depart, yea, my mother and I went before the body of Onandagus, and I did remove his clothes, and did place them on my body, even to disguise myself as Onandagus.

47. And I spake unto my mother to await me in the wilderness, for I shall return with the plates. And my mother spake unto me to be careful.

48. And I promised my mother I shall return. And I went back to the Onandagus tribal village, and because I disguised myself as Onandagus, yea, I was allowed within the walls by the guards.

49. And I approached the servant of Onandagus, and spake unto him to bring unto me the plates, even the plates of Zelph.

50. And the servant of Onandagus spake: Behold, sire, I shall retrieve the key which is in the secret spot, and I shall bring it unto thee. And after the manner in which I bringeth ye the key, yea, than shall ye use it to unlock the box in Zelph's teepee which doth hold the plates.

51. And the thing the servant said was pleasing unto me, and I replied: Yea, very well.

52. And the servant did bring unto me the key, and I replied: Yea, good job, now depart, and get back to work.

53. And I did take the key into my father's teepee, and I did find the lock box, and did open it. And I beheld the multitude of plates, and did load it into a handcart.

54. And it came to pass that after the manner in which I did load the plates into the handcart, yea, I departed quickly from the village, and did return to the wilderness.

55. And we did bury the body of Onandagus, even did we bury his clothes, and his sword, and all evidence of him, so as not to be considered a suspect in his disappearance.

56. And I did use some of the gold from the Lamanite records, even a couple of the gold plates, yea, even the most boring of the plates, and did melt them down, and makest them into a multitude of gold coins. And I did take the gold coins unto the Lamanite masons, and builders, and carpenters, and I did use the gold coins to buy materials for a new casino.

57. And it came to pass that I did build the new casino in the same spot as the old one, and I did name it "Zelph's", even did I name it after my father to honor him.

58. And it came to pass that I did melt down a few more gold plates from the Lamanite record, yea, and did make more gold coins. And even did I use some of the silver plates, and I did remove the jewels from the silver plates, and I did use the precious metals and jewelry from the Lamanite plates to purchase fine apparel for me and my mother, and even did I use some gold coins from the plates to purchase furniture and interior fixtures of exceedingly high prices, and exceedingly good craftsmanship.

59. And I did also melt down a couple more gold plates to makest much jewelry for my mother, for she was a goodly mother. And I did also melt down one more gold plate to makest myself an exceedingly impressive gold medallion and gold chain to hang around my neck, yea, and many Lamanites shall covet my gold chain and medallion.

60. And after the manner in which I did melt down many Lamanite plates to makest coins to buy things, and after I did use much gold from the plates to makest fine jewelry, yea, I did hide the few remaining plates, and the handcart which doth hold them, in a cave behind the casino.

61. And it came to pass that me and my mother did begin a new life within our casino, and my mother did perform magic, and withcraft, and she did read palms, and look within her crystal ball, and I served drinks, and dealt cards, and we did havest a goodly life. Yea, nevertheless, we do miss my father, for though he be not my biological father, behold, Zelph, the white Lamanite, was my one true father.

62. And it came to pass that the wars and contentions with the Nephites do near their end, for the Lamanites, led by Kicking Deer, do drive the Nephites deep into their lands, and soon the Nephites shall be annihilated, and the final solution shall come to pass.

63. And I do have mixed feelings, for I do think this war to be an unjust war, nevertheless, I desire to support the Lamanite soldiers. Wherefore, I serve many Lamanite soldiers like my father did, and the casino shall be a place for the soldiers to get rest, and entertainment.

64. And thus ends the year three-hundred and eighty, and the wars and contentions shall last for five more years, and during the time of wars and contentions, yea, I do run my casino with my mother, and we do liveth the good life.

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