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CHAPTER 4

The whores inherit the plates, begin writing one year after Laban's death. Recount events: Laban travel's to Nephi's camp to get revenge on Nephi. Balsac has a dream that Laban will die. The whores travel to find him to tell him of the dream and warn him, witness archery tournament. Laban, disguised as a mysterious woman of the woods, defeats Nephi in the tournament. Nephi discovers the disguise. [The late 580s B.C.]

1. And now I Yi Ping do write some things concerning Laban the younger, for he much desired these metal plates to be preserved so as they shall come forth to future generations. And the mantle hath fallen upon me to write upon these most precious plates. And I did maketh plates of gold, yea, because it is that when we did take over Nephi's camp we did discover much more gold. And I maketh these gold plates with mine own hands, and in the manner that Laban would have.

2. And because I am not skilled at the building of plates, and because I do maketh them with mine own hands, the plates I do make are exceedingly smaller than Laban's, and these first sets of mine plates do speak of Laban. Wherefore, these first plates shall be known as the small plates of Laban. And thou shalt cite thy minds forward to the time I shall also writeth another part, which shall be not about Laban, but shall be of me and mine daughters, even the whores. And those plates shall be known as the plates of the whores.

3. And it came to pass that as I commence carving the characters upon these plates, even with a rock and a metal thing that doth carve scratches into the plates so as to maketh characters, yea, one year hath passed since the time of the Nephite purge, which did follow the coup-de-tat. And the followers of Nephi are now called Nephites, and the followers of Laman are called Lamanites, and we count ourselves amongst the Lamanites for they have accepted us as one of them; for we do service many Lamanite men, and have we given birth to many children, and we know not who their fathers are for we do service many men, wherefore our children are bastards. 

4. And it came to pass that many bastards doth live amongst the Lamanites.

5. And it must needs be that I catch ye up to the current events; for the things I did write above, in verses one through four, must be very confusing unto thee. For I did turn back to the last plate written by Laban, which he did write one year ago, and the last he did write is he did dress as a woman, and did travel back to Nephi's camp to kill him, and even did he travel with the son of Abitch, Laman, and Lemuel. Wherefore I shall writest about what did happen when Laban and the others did travel to Nephi's camp.

6. And it came to pass that one year ago Laban, the son of Abitch, Laman, and Lemuel did travel back to Nephi's camp. And Balsac, and the wife of Balsac did stay behind with us whores, for we chose not to fight, and our job was to preserve the plates and guard the camp.

7. And it came to pass that on that night, yea, even in the middle of the night we were awakened by horrible animal noises. And our tent did tremble as if an animal did attempt to get in. And the animal screameth a horrible scream as if he desired to kill us.

8. And Shu did grabbeth a sword and did approach the opening of the tent, yea, even where the animal was clawing to get inside, and she did raise the sword and did open the entranced to the tent thereof. Then did she raise the sword to smite the creature, yea, but she did stop herself as we did realize the creature to be Balsac, our monkey friend.

9. And Shu spake unto Balsac, saying: Balsac, do that never again; for it came to pass that ye did frighten us, yea, and I did nearly kill thee in an attempt to preserve my life.

10. And Balsac did ignore the words of Shu's mouth, and he did jump up and down excitedly. And he did try to explain something unto us, yea, even did he act like the thing that he desired to explain was exceedingly important unto him.

11. And we hearkened unto Balsac's words, and did attempt to discern the words that he spake, but wo, for we could translate not the monkey words. And Balsac did motion with his hands in an attempt to communicate. Nevertheless, we did have not a single idea what it was that Balsac desired to say unto us, for Balsac was not given the gift of speech, nor was he given the gift of writing, nor the gift of sign language; for he knew not how to talk or write; for he was just a monkey. 

12. Nevertheless, Balsac did knowest how to draw; for he was an exceedingly good artist. Wherefore, we did findest a stick, and did place it in the fire to make charcoal, and he did use the charcoal like unto a pencil, so as he could create pictures so as we may discern what it was he wanted to say. 

13. And Balsac did begin drawing pictures upon stone, so as he could tell us the things he wanted to say.

14. And he did draw a picture of a monkey, then he pointed to himself. And we did discern that the picture did represent him, Balsac. And Balsac did nod his head as if to say that we were correct in our interpretation of his picture.

15. Then did Balsac draw a bed, and he did draw a picture of a monkey asleep on the bed. And we did discern the picture meant Balsac was asleep on his bed. And Balsac did nod his head and then did we know we were correct.

16. Then did Balsac draw a cloud over his head, with a line that did lead from his head to the cloud. Wherefore, we did discern that the cloud meant he did havest a dream. And Balsac did nod with much excitement, and did he jump up and down, and do a back flip, and he did shriek exceedingly loud. Wherefore, we did know that we were correct in our interpretation.

17. Then did Balsac draw an arrow from the cloud to another rock; for he did want to draw his dream on another stone. Wherefore we did tell him this, and he did nod and we did understand what Balsac was trying to do. For he did dream a dream, or did havest a vision, which thing doth mean Balsac was a visionary monkey. And he desired to share his dream with us.

18. Wherefore, it came to pass that Balsac did drawest his dream upon the rock. And we did watch with great interest and exceeding anticipation as his dream did come forth upon the rock. 

19. And Balsac did drawest a picture of his dream, and even did he draw a picture of a man dressed in women's clothing. And we did understand it to be Laban the younger; for he did leave for the Nephite camp disguised as a whore.

20. And Balsac did shriek two shrieks, which thing doth mean yes. Then did Balsac draw a sword that did stab through the top of Laban's head, and he did draw much blood spurting out. And Balsac was an exceedingly good artist; for the violence in his drawing was exceedingly brutal.

21. And when Balsac finished his graphically violent picture, yea, we did ponder what it could mean.

22. And Balsac did jump up and down excitedly while pointing at the picture.

23. And it came to pass that Bo spake, saying: I thinkest the man in the dress is Laban, and I thinkest the swords represent death.

24. And Balsac did a back flip and did clap his hands and shriek. And we did realize that Bo had correctly interpreted Balsac's dream.

25. Wherefore, we did know that Laban was in exceedingly great danger. Wherefore, we devised a plan to go to Nephi's camp and rescue him.

26. And we did disguise ourselves with veils, and we did travel with great speed, even did I and the other whores, which were my daughters, and Balsac and the wife of Balsac did race with great swiftness to Nephi's camp.

27. And Balsac did lead the way, for he knew the direction to Nephi's camp. And we did arrive at Nephi's camp in less than a day for we did travel very fast. And when we did arrive, we beheld a multitude of people gathered, and they were listening to Nephi who was preaching unto them.

28. And it came to pass that we did mingle with the crowd so as not to be noticed. And we did listen, and Nephi spake of Heavenly Father, and Jesus, and repentance, and other things like that.

29. And Nephi did go on and on, and many in the crowd did fall asleep, and after Nephi did finish the things in which he wanted to tell the people, yea, he then spake loudly: Inasmuch as my sermon is over, yea, let the tournament begin

30. And the crowd did cheer, and those who were sleeping did awaken. And Nephi did lift his bow, even his superbow, and his arrows and did makest his way through the crowd, and the congregation did follow him. And we followed the crowd and did blend in.

31. And we came upon a large field, and there were many targets on the other side of the field, and Nephi did turn and speak: I Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, declare the first archery tournament of the promised land hath commenced. Wherefore, I call upon my challengers to join me. Sam, whosoever shalt challenge me this day?

32. And Sam did step forward and did read from a scroll a list of names, even the competitors in the archery tournament: Wherefore, Nephi, thy challengers are: Zoram; Thy brothers: Sam, Laman, Lemuel, Jacob, and Joseph; Ishmael's sons: Zach and Abe, and a woman named Prudence.

33. And a hush went over the crowd, and Nephi spake: Why did thou allowest a woman to compete? For this is a man's sport.

34. And Sam replied unto Nephi: Yea, Prudence did insist; for she doth desire to compete and doth boast that she can beatest any man, even ye Nephi.

35. And Nephi spake: Who is this woman that doth speak such things, and doth havest much pride, and thinkest she be so good?

36. And Prudence stepped forward, and it was obvious unto me that the woman was actually Laban disguised as a woman; for Prudence was exceedingly tall and did havest broad shoulders, and Prudence was wearing one of my dresses.

37. And Nephi spake with anger in his voice: Woman, where did thou comest from? For only eight women did travel from Jerusalem, and they did all get married and are baking refreshments for the tournament. Why art thou not with the women?

38. And Prudence replied: I comest from the woods, and I discoverest thy camp, and I come in peace, and I know not the customs of thy people. Wherefore, I know not that I am supposed to be baking right now.

39. And Nephi spake, with anger in his voice: And why doth thou desire to compete with men in a man's sport? 

40. And Prudence spake, saying: I am a woman who doth desire to shoot arrows, and no man can deny me what I doth want. Wherefore, I shall compete in thy tournament, and if thou keepest me from competing, yea, behold, thou art scared of a girl.

41. And the crowd did gasp; for none shall speak unto Nephi that way.

42. And Nephi did laugh a belly laugh, and after the manner of laughing, he spake: Woman, if thou doth stay amongst us, thou shalt learn thy place. Nevertheless, I like thy spunk. Wherefore, ye shall compete with the men, afterwards shall we teach thee thy proper place.

43. And the crowd did laugh, and Nephi spake, saying: The mysterious woman of the woods shall compete, and these are the rules: We shall each take shots at the targets, and add the scores. Those who score highest shall move onto the next round, and the targets shall be moved back. And it shall continue like this until only one remains, and he...

44. Then Nephi paused and gestured toward Prudence and spake: Or she...

45. And the crowd did laugh, for Nephi doth make a mockery of a girl competing in an archery tournament.

46. And Nephi continued: He or she who doth remain at the end shall be named archery tournament champion. And the champion shall get a medal, yea, even a gold medal that I did makest with mine own hands. And we shall all sing praises unto the champion. And then shall we have refreshments; for the real women are preparing the refreshments, and we shall partake of the refreshments after the medal ceremony. Wherefore behold, let thy tournament begin.

47. And the crowd did cheer, and the tournament did begin. And Nephi’s arrows did hit the bull's-eye many times and he did advance, but also did Prudence hit the bull's-eye many times and also did she advance. 

48. And it did get to the final round and there were only two archers left, yea, even Nephi and Prudence.

49. And Nephi did takest his first shot, and he did hit the bull's-eye, and the crowd did cheer. Nevertheless, Prudence did havest the next shot, and as Prudence did aim her arrow and right before she did release it, behold, Nephi did reach out his bow and did bump Prudence's bow, and the bow did tilt upward, and the arrow did shoot straight into the air.

50. Nevertheless, Prudence did think quickly and she did get out another arrow, and did quickly shoot it upward toward the first arrow. And it did hit the first arrow, and the first arrow did change direction, and did come back toward the target, and it did hit the bull's-eye, even did her arrow split Nephi’s arrow in twain.

51. And it came to pass that Nephi was exceedingly angry, and wherefore, he did chastise Prudence for using two arrows, and he calleth her a cheater, and said that she was disqualified from the tournament for using two arrows on one turn.

52. And Laman and Lemuel stood in defense of prudence, and accused Nephi of poor sportsmanship, for they felt Prudence's shot was exceedingly more difficult than Nephi's, nevertheless, she still hit the bull's-eye, even splitting Nephi’s arrow.

53. And it came to pass that Laman and Lemuel turned to the crowd, and commenced chanting: PRUDENCE! PRUDENCE! PRUDENCE!

53. And the crowd did join Laman and Lemuel in their chant. And Nephi beheld that Prudence had won over the crowd. Nevertheless, he did get a smile on his face, and spake, saying: Fair enough, Prudence, for thou hath won, even hath thou defeated me. And thou shalt get what is coming to you. Wherefore Sam, fetch me the medal.

54. And Sam did fetch the medal, and Nephi held it up in preparation to place upon Prudence, even to hang around her neck. And Nephi bade Prudence to lean forward so as to accept the medal, and when Prudence leaneth forward, Nephi spake, saying: The mysterious woman of the woods hath defeated me, and I declare her the winner.

55. And the crowd did cheer, and Prudence did lean forward to accept the medal. And I could see it was that she sneakily reached beneath her dress for her sword, for Laban hath discovered this to be his best opportunity to slay Nephi, excepteth Nephi did beat him to it; for Nephi removed his sword from its sheath and spake, saying: However, I do declareth Laban the loser.

56.  And Nephi reached out his sword and cut Prudence's dress, and Prudence's dress did fall to the ground, and all beheld that Prudence was a man dressed as a woman. And the crowd did gasp, and a woman did faint, for Laban was exposed.

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