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THE FIRST BOOK OF LABAN HIS LIFE IN JERUSALEM CHAPTER 3 Laban is jailed, meets a wise man named Eledekiah. Eledekiah tells Laban how he can save his wife and break the spell by kissing her; also tells of buried treasure. Laban escapes jail through stratagem. Laban the younger counsels the reader not to judge the book by its poor grammar. [A little before 600 B.C.] 1. And it came to pass that I, Laban the younger, shall commence writing the third chapter of my story upon these plates; yea, even these plates which are made of gold. 2. And it came to pass that I was but an infant, and inasmuch as my mother was presumed dead and my father was in jail, I was taken to the Jewish orphanage, for it must needs be that I should be adopted; yea, even adopted by a goodly family. 3. And some may say unto themselves while reading this book, yea, I mean these plates, that it shall be impossible for me to have known what did happen to my father during this time. Yea, some shall say, how cannest I tell this story which is about my father, not me, if it is that I was but an infant during this time. Behold, fear not, for these things I know because my father spaketh these things unto me over the years, and I am sharing the stories as he shared them with me. 4. And it came to pass that inasmuch as my father awaited trial for the murder of the doctor, yea, he did share a cell with an old wise man named Eledekiah. 5. Now, my father spake his story unto the wise man saying: Behold, Eledekiah, ye old wise man, my wife shall surely be buried unless I escape and save her. Wherefore, I must break the bonds of this prison soest I may find her and awaken her from her sleep. Yea, but unsure am I on how to awaken her, for I am not a wizard, nor do I practice priestcraft nor do I have the gift of magic, or of sorcery. 6. And Eledekiah spake unto my father saying: Oh Laban, hear the words of my mouth. Weep not, for behold, thy wife be not dead, for I can feel it, and I havest a dream last night of a woman, yea, even a woman with the most white and delightsome skin, for she ariseth and cometh unto me soest I may make love unto her, but then did I awaken, for the guards disturbeth my dream. But behold, I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt, and withest every fiber of my being that the dream in which I spake was true; yeah, even a vision. My dream beest a vision that thy wife be not dead. 7. And when Eledekiah spake these words, yea, my father was exceedingly glad, for my father did believe Eledekiah to be a wise man whosoever knowest much, yea even a prophet or a wizard. 8. And it came to pass that Eledekiah continued speaking unto my father, saying: Behold, verily, verily, I say unto thee, thy wife doth havest a curse placed upon her by that cunning and evil doctor, for he havest powers, yea, even the powers of magic, but they be not good powers, for he being seduced by the dark side, doth use his powers only for bad, not for good. And behold, the evil doctor did put a spell on thy wife soest she may remain unconscious and ye thinkest she be dead, soest the doctor may lie with her unconscious body, and soest he can do wicked things unto it and she shall cry out not, for she be unconscious. But fear not, for behold she can be awakened and the curse broken only through a counter curse administered by the doctor, exceptest ye did smite off the doctor’s head which doth create a dilemma. 9. And when Eledekiah spake these words, my father became exceedingly sorrowful, for he did knowest that the doctor was dead, and therefore could not administer the counter curse 10. But Eledekiah spake again unto my father saying: Be not sad, for I dabbled in priestcraft and magic and wizardry and know of some of the powers by which they come. I thinkest I once read that this curse can be broken another way. Yea, this curse that the doctor givest unto thy wife can also be broken through the kiss of her one true love. Wherefore, it must needs be that ye find her and kiss her passionately on the lips, and if ye do these things with a sincere heart, and a contrite spirit, behold, ye shall break the curse and she shall arise and ye may live happily ever after. 11. And my father did know that Eledekiah spake the truth, for he felt good in his heart, yea, even a burning in his bosom that what Eledekiah sayest unto him was true. 12. And it came to pass that Eledekiah telleth my father of a buried treasure hidden away by Eledekiah twenty and four years earlier, and Eledekiah tellest my father where the treasure be in great detail, and Eledekiah sayest unto my father that if my father doth help him escape, he will split the treasure with him fifty-fifty. 13. And it came to pass that the two men did shake hands and agree to be partners in finding the treasure if they escapest the prison walls, but yea, my father thinketh Eledekiah was full of dung regarding the treasure, for he lookest not like a rich man. Nevertheless, he did agree to be Eledekiah's partner. 14. And after the manner in which Eledekiah sayest these things, behold, he did lie down and die, for he was an old man, yea, even ninety and four years old. 15. And my father did mourn the loss of his friend and did try kissing him but knowest in his heart that the old man really be dead, for he stinketh, yea, even did he stinketh exceedingly with an exceedingly strong odor. 16. And it came to pass that the guards returned not for the space of many hours. And yea, my father dwelt in the exceedingly stinky, odorous cell all night. 17. And it came to pass that my father did thinketh a plan, yea, even a genius plan to escape from prison. For when the guards shall discover the dead body of Eledekiah, yea, they shall desire the odor to go away, and wherefore they shall remove his body which stinketh much, and throw it into the river. 18. And my father did remove Eledekiah’s clothes and put them on his own body and he did removeth his own clothes and put them on Eledekiah’s body. 19. And, my father takest Eledekiah, who was now wearing my father’s clothes, and he puttest his dead body in my father’s bed, and my father gettest into Eledekiah’s bed wearing the dead man’s clothes. And inasmuch as Eledekiah shall still be in the cell, the cell stinketh, and inasmuch as my father wearest Eledekiah’s clothes, my father stinketh. 20. And it came to pass that when the guards did return to check on the cell, yea, they beheld my father pretending to be dead in Eledekiah’s clothes, and they thinkest my father be Eledekiah, and thinketh he be dead for the cell still stinketh exceedingly. 21. And the guards beheld Eledekiah in my father’s bed wearing my father’s clothes, and did presume him to be my father who was sleeping. Therefore, they taketh my father, whom they did thinkest to be Eledekiah, and in order to freshen the cell, they taketh my father outside the prison wall. And, inasmuch as they thinketh he be dead, yea, they did heave him into the continually running river. 22. And it came to pass that my father did stay under water and did let the current carry him down stream for three and one half miles until the guards could see him no more, and then did he swim ashore, and behold, my father was free. 23. And behold, verily verily I say unto thee some may say that this book has bad grammar. But yea, if it doth have bad grammar it shall be an error in translation not an error in truth, for I waxed strong in making these plates, and it shall not be in vain. Wherefore, believest not the enemies of this book who sayest it be not true because of the bad grammar, and ignore them, for ye shouldest to only focus on the great story and plot, not the grammar. |
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