| Home - Basic Beliefs |
<Back | |
|
OF THOSE OF US WHO BELIEVE IN THE BOOK OF ZELPH
1. We believe in Zelph the white Lamanite, and in his son Melph, and in the other characters from the Book of Zelph. 2. We believe that it won't be easy, but it will be worth it. 3. We believe that if you want to know what we really believe, you should read this list of official beliefs. After all, if you want to learn about a Chevy, you wouldn't go to a Ford dealer, would you? 4. We believe that the first four principles of the Book of Zelph are: First, read the Book of Zelph; second, roll the dice to find out if it is true; third, donate money to Josh Anderson; and fourth, obey Josh Anderson. 5. We believe that scientific evidence is sometimes good, but the only way to know for sure if the Book of Zelph is true is by rolling the dice. 6. We believe that other books also have some truth, but the Book of Zelph has the fullness of truth, and is more true than any other book on Earth. 7. We believe that it takes two witnesses for something to be true, and that the Book of Zelph stands as a second witness to Lamanite history. 8. We believe with every fiber of our being there’s no way someone as uneducated as Josh Anderson could make this book up, and therefore it must be true. 9. We believe that you should follow Josh Anderson because he knows the way, and when Josh Anderson speaks, the debate is over. 10. We believe that people aren't perfect, but the Book of Zelph is. 11. We believe that we shouldn't cast our pearls before swine (i.e. enemies of The Book of Zelph). 12. We believe in obeying the law, so far as it doesn't interfere with our beliefs. 13. We believe that even if the Book of Zelph isn’t true, it’s still the best book to read. 14. We believe that if you aren’t sure if the Book of Zelph is a true book, even after rolling the dice, you should fake it 'til you make it. Josh Anderson
***Josh Anderson reserves the right to change, alter, add to, or remove entries from this list of basic beliefs. |
|
|
<Back | |